There is good news, just not much on the television at 6 o’clock. If the view of all real estate transactions were filtered through that TV lens, everyone would apparently be a criminal, victim, winner, fraud or loser. This is not anywhere near truth when looking at the average real estate deal even with the amazing differences of the people involved.
Sure the courts are full of discontents suing for this or that, but the vast majority of closed transactions are beneficial to both sides fulfilling the needs and wishes of all concerned. The vast majority.
A classic example of this might be the couple retiring to a warmer climate selling their home to a younger family looking for more space. Without a buyer the sellers are going nowhere and without a seller the buyers have no choices to make. Neither can move without the other.
When change presents itself some action is usually to follow. An opportunity to take new, better, higher paying job in a different location can be great news, but there might be some choices to make. Do you really want to move out of area? Is moving family friendly? Is there any family to take into consideration at all? Does the new economy make sense?
Vibrant city life can be appealing with all the hustle and bustle, but maybe the quiet of a rural setting is what is needed to regenerate the soul. A suburban lifestyle can be perfect when it fits your needs, but can the commute be survived?
Nothing stated above is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ news, just choices. So why set up a real estate transaction with a negative twist once the choices have been made? Who needs all that drama and wasted energy? That negativity can lasts long after a business deal is completed coloring what otherwise might be measured as a brilliant effort with a dark cloud.
It is true when entering in to any transaction that preparation is a must regardless of side and a strong drink of reality is recommended. Buyer beware, Seller take care. An honest group of parameters should be in place well before listing or going out shopping for property. If applying only emotion to the equation, the friend or foe syndrome will always be just around the corner ready to make a good clean transaction in to a battle of wills.
“Who do they think they are?” “I’m not going to let them tell me what I can and can’t do.” “That asking (or offering) price is ridiculous!” Shortly there after the deal is usually missed, dead or headed for hell. There are no beneficiaries in that game and everybody seems to become the enemy.
Commercial real estate can be a great teacher for those in the residential market place. Function, numbers, limits and the absence of emotion rule. 
If a deal doesn’t make any sense, move on. No name calling, no wasted time or energy. No friend or foe, just business.
The fact is residential real estate is not commercial and strong emotional energy is needed to make a house a home. That energy should remain focused in that arena kept in check by the built-in coach of set ‘parameters’. Additional most people are not buying or selling their property with any regularity allowing for only one chance to get it right.
When the major elements such as pricing or timeline have been well defined the foundation for a friendly transaction can support other pieces of the negotiation and curb friction. There is no need to ‘explode’ a contract before it is even penned or as the contingencies are removed when working toward closing.
When a problem arises the likelihood of a work-around is far great when the team is working together. “Winning” is not synonymous with abuse. The real winners in a transaction are those who can walk away with the success of a satisfying closing or knowing that the best effort was made in relation to that goal.
Our past addresses may or may not hold fond memories, but they are factual accountings of the changes that do happen. Why not make friends when those changes happen? Let the whim of subjectivity guide the heart, but then remember to apply the limits of objectivity to the deal. Make friends not enemies.